Stephen Colbert on DHS pick Markwayne Mullin: ‘Has a history of being real dumb and real angry about it’

Late-night hosts recapped Markwayne Mullin’s risible confirmation hearing for homeland security secretary and Maga’s struggles to sell the war in Iran to sticker-shocked Americans.

Stephen Colbert

On Wednesday’s Late Show, Stephen Colbert looked into the resignation this week of Joe Kent, Donald Trump’s director of the national counterterrorism center, in protest of the administration’s war in Iran and the fact that “Iran posed no imminent threat to our nation”.

“So the US is going to war in the Middle East without an imminent threat to our nation … AGAIN?” Colbert joked, sitcom-style.

“Now, before anybody sends this guy an Edible Arrangement in the shape of the word ‘hero’, keep in mind: he sucks,” he continued, before reminding viewers that during his failed 2022 congressional bid, Kent paid Graham Jorgensen, a member of the Proud Boys, for consulting work, and worked closely with Joey Gibson, founder of the rightwing group Patriot Prayer. Kent has also blamed Israel for the 2003 US invasion of Iraq.

“Now, I’m not saying he’s an antisemite … because a lot of people beat me to it,” said Colbert. He quoted Representative Don Bacon, who said: “Good riddance. Antisemitism is an evil I detest, and we surely don’t want it in our government.”

Colbert added: “Bacon is standing up for the Jewish people, and he’s not even kosher!”

The host also touched on Mullin, Trump’s pick to replace ousted homeland security chief Kristi Noem, who himself said at his confirmation hearing on Wednesday: “I’m not going to be the smartest guy in any room I walk into.”

Mullin, Colbert noted, “has a history of being real dumb and real angry about it”. At the hearing, he was pressed by Rand Paul, the Kentucky senator who a few years ago was assaulted and hospitalized by a disgruntled neighbor. At the time, Mullin said he “understood” why Paul was attacked. Paul asked Mullin to explain why Americans “should trust a man with anger issues to set the proper example for ICE and border patrol agents”.

“Now, while that is a valid question – and it is a valid question – Senator Paul knows that ‘anger issues’ are the top requirement for ICE and border patrol agents,” Colbert responded. “Right above not being the smartest person in any room you walk into.”

Seth Meyers

On Late Night, Seth Meyers also recapped Mullin’s confirmation hearing, during which he claimed, in response to Paul, that he was “simply pointing out … some of the rules that still apply to this body, for instance dueling with two consenting adults is still there”.

Paul responded tersely: “It’s been illegal for 170 years. There’s no precedent for legal dueling.”

“I don’t know which part of that is weirder, that Markwayne thought dueling was still legal, or that Rand immediately knew it hasn’t been legal for 170 years,” Meyers said. “If you challenge Rand to a duel and said, ‘Name the time and the place,’ he’d say: ‘Uh, I’m not sure about the place, but let’s make the time the year 1856.’”

“Also very funny to describe a duel as being between two consenting adults,” he added. “You know, because if only one person consents, that’s murder.

“But that’s the philosophy of Maga: violence and brute force rule the world. They can do whatever they want,” he continued. “Which is why even the voices within the administration who were the loudest against war with Iran are now changing their tune,” such as Tulsi Gabbard, Trump’s national intelligence director.

When she was running for president as a Democrat in 2019, Gabbard criticized Trump and his “chickenhawk” cabinet for bringing the US “to the brink of war with Iran”, which would be “far more devastating, far more costly than anything that we saw in Iraq”. Yet at her own congressional hearing on Wednesday, Gabbard defended Trump’s attacks on Iran as a “strategic success”.

The about-face represented “the new Maga”, said Meyers. “They lied about ending foreign wars, all they care about is power, they can invade any country they want.”

Jimmy Kimmel

In Los Angeles, Jimmy Kimmel ridiculed Trump for “strong-arming the Senate right now to try to save himself from getting his ass handed to him in the midterm elections” with his proposed Save America Act that would require passports for voting, among other onerous restrictions.

“Trump is now in full bully mode,” Kimmel noted. “He’s forcing Republican senators to debate this bill he dreamed up to fight back against these completely fabricated claims of voter fraud. It’s like if he made them build another wall at the Mexican border, to keep the chupacabra out. That’s how crucial this bill is.”

The bill currently does not have the 60 votes required to pass thanks to a few Republican holdouts, “which is encouraging”, said Kimmel. Trump has said that he will not endorse any Republican who refuses to support the bill and will do what he can to ruin them. “He’s either going to ruin them, or the country, it’s their choice.”

“But make no mistake: imaginary voter fraud aside, our president is laser-focused on the issues that matter most to us, like windmills,” said Kimmel, as the Trump administration is now reportedly exploring the idea of paying $1bn to stop a French energy company from building wind farm projects off the coasts of New York and North Carolina. “A billion dollars of our money to cancel projects that harness an endless resource, wind,” he lamented. “And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the kind of math that bankrupts casinos.”

The Daily Show

And on The Daily Show, Jordan Klepper examined a tough bind for Trump’s supporters, as his war in Iran sends gas prices soaring. “High gas prices have Maga world in a tricky position now, because there’s no way to spin it as a good thing to the American people,” he explained. “Unless, you know what? Unless, what if we’re the problem.”

Klepper then played a series of Maga-rationalizing clips. “People are talking like this is the end of the world. No, it’s not,” said Larry Kudlow on Fox News. Said a Newsmax host: “I can handle the gas prices, people can handle the gas prices. We’re hardly ever called on to sacrifice anything any more.”

“Think of how much worse it was in world war two than what we’re facing now,” said another Fox News commentator.

“Is that the bar now?” Klepper exclaimed. “It’s not as bad as the worst war in human history, so stop bitching? I mean, you can dismiss any concerns that way. ‘Oh, you’re upset because home ownership is out of reach? You know who else doesn’t have a home? Saving Private Ryan.’

“But you heard them: this is just temporary pain that will all be worth it in the long term,” he added. “I’m sure every day Americans will understand and will take this in stride … ”

Klepper then played a clip of a three-time Trump voter in Pennsylvania who, when asked by a reporter if she had a message for the president, was very succinct: “You are a worthless pile of shit.”

“Well, someone’s not getting an invite to the new ballroom,” Klepper quipped.